Today’s advice relates to what you should be doing after you set a first date with a girl, and why the best thing to do is counterintuitive to most guys (including myself for a long time).

 Before we get into it, I would love it if you give my channel a follow, this video a like, and comment your thoughts on whether you agree with the following advice or not after watching. 

Also, healthy disagreement is fine but I ask that you keep the comments civil since this is about growing as individuals and not a platform for negative fixed mindsets.

I have been there many times in my dating life when I was younger. You have a first date set with a girl you are really attracted to, the place you’re gonna meet, time, everything…and let's say the date is a few nights away as you are approaching the weekend. 

There is this feeling of wanting to keep in communication with the girl and continuously text about your day before the date. Maybe she is even reciprocal and you may have good rapport, and the text conversations seem fine, but there are too many things that can go wrong by doing this. 

I am a rom com fan, but we are conditioned incorrectly in movies and tv shows where the guy is just constantly trying to fall over the girl and prove their interest and worth, almost as if they have to so the girl won’t forget about them. That is just not a true impact in the real world. 

Anticipation

Firstly, if you’re texting and on the phone talking on those days before the first date, you’re not creating any anticipation in the girl's mind about you. She is hearing all about your day and whatever else you are chatting about, so there really is no mystery being built up. A girl has to ponder about you and build that anticipation up in her mind, which can help make her more curious as to what is going to happen. It also gives off the impression that you aren’t very busy.

Not texting and having all these convos before the first date will also help make you stand out, because if she is dating other guys, they are most likely making the mistake of over-communicating via text with her, and  that can cause her attraction level for them to lower and you’re going to be the one she is thinking “hmm, he must be busy”. Even if you aren’t busy, which you should be either going to the gym, hanging out with friends, doing healthy things, it’s going to come off as such because you’re not sitting around having chats with her. 

Misinterpretation 

Secondly, especially if you are texting, there are too many times that texts are left for interpretation which opens you up to possibly having the girl infer a meaning you do not intend, and can sour her opinion on you and lower the attraction before you even go on the date. 

These conversations should be happening on the date, face to face, where you can make eye contact and be charming, have your playful fun communication be interpreted properly, and build that attraction. 

Screening Process

This will make you stand out, even if you think it’s minimal. I have had many women tell me it was different and they were not even sure if the date was still on. If she does contact you via text, maybe the day of, to see if the date is still on. Reiterate that of course the date is on, you’re looking forward to seeing her in person, and will see her there since you’re a man of your word. You can even be playful,  joke around and say don’t worry, I won’t stand you up. But ultimately confirm, and show up and be your best playful confident self.

If you don’t text or call between setting the date and the date itself, and a girl basically lashes out at you for not texting, or saying they don’t appreciate you ghosting them before the date, or basically starts scolding you like they are your mommy,  you are learning early of a potentially needy or toxic personality that is probably something you don’t want to be involved with down the road.

Conclusion

Remember, these tips are not meant to be a form of playing games. It is simply utilizing the understanding of the psychology of masculine and feminine energies.

It is also to get you into the mindset that you are a catch and should carry yourself that way. You should have an abundance mindset and understand that you want to find someone who is easygoing and doesn’t create drama.